YESTERDAY AT MY THERAPIST’S OFFICE was relaxing and intellectually stimulating. Of course, we did not engage in discourse for long—approximately, 40 minutes—-but, still, our brief time together was mentally liberating, to say the least. “Lewuga,” she said, with one of her legs crossed over the other and with an opened purple notebook on her lap, “You are thoughtful, and you care deeply about a lot of things, but it’s important to always ask yourself; ‘Is this issue or situation worth solving?'”
It can be a protest, a simple family feud, or a random incident somewhere, and for whatever reason, I would always feel like I can be the one to amend the situation. Like, the only one that is sensible and pragmatic enough to bring peace and justice to both sides. That kind of unrealistic mindset, although not entirely bad, has never yielded the type of ultimate absolution that I was hoping it would have yielded. And you would think that by now I would have gotten the memo—but, no, I’m too silly and blissfully stubborn. I swear, the way my mind operates sometimes; very grandiose and panglossian, is so annoying and scary.
What a profound question that was, though, for someone as ambitious, selfless, and passionate like me to hear. Up to that very moment, it never dawned on me, in a very visceral way, that, perhaps, I, alone, can not change every situation. I think what it is, is that I always thought and felt like I was ordained by God to solve the issues that his son, Jesus Christ, couldn’t solve before he went back to heaven. But thankfully now that I’ve taken the first step towards a more rational state of mind, by having confronted how celestially, emotionally, and physically impossible such a task was, I’m starting to feel some of the weight of the whole world sliding off of my shoulders.
I do not blame myself for feeling like I should be the one to fix the world—because, without people like me; quixotic, seditious, and compassionate, the world would be a deformed and passionless place. But, what does trouble me sometimes about that mindset that I used to feel so strongly about, is that when the whole world doesn’t change at that split second, I become seriously depressed and cynical about everything.
And that is why I appreciate therapy so much—-because it’s a kind of process that forces you to think critically and seriously about yourself and about the rest of the whole world around you. With each session, you’re growing, decompressing, and learning a little bit more about yourself. Yes, Meditation, Yoga, Group Meetings, and any other activity that forces you to think deeply about something can have the same effect, but for me, Therapy seems to do the trick.
Main photo was from Unsplash