Millennials Are Declining Marriage And Here’s Why

weddings and millennials

If you’re a millennial and you’re tired of almost all your friends getting married and showing off their wedding photos and picturesque poses and smiles on Facebook, Instagram and other social media sites, I have something just for you.

Depending on who you are, it can be overwhelming seeing some of your friends tieing the knot and getting a head start on living their happily-ever-after lifestyle way before you did. Also, you may feel sad because of it—primarily due to the fact that you yourself haven’t found your Matthew McConaughey, Ryan Gosling, Taylor Swift, or, say, in my case, Rosario Dawson. Thus, you may think that the latter confirms and cements the fact that you might be single for the rest of your life.

And because of this, I imagine that you may ask yourself, “are there still anyone, my age, that are not divorcing the freedoms of singledom for the rigidities of conventional relationships?” Oops, that’s how I talk and think, but you may say something more, like, “what’s up with all my friends getting married sad emoji broken-heart Very-angry-emoji?”

The good news is, and despite the small fraction of your friends who finally decided to take the advice of Beyonce when she said in her “Single Ladies” music video that “if you like it you should put a ring on it,” millennials are twenty percent less likely to get married before their twenties. Also, and according to recent findings from the Pew Research Center, forty percent of millennials think that marriages and long-term, conventional relationships are obsolete.

Hooray! Hooray! isn’t this such great news?! You can now kick back your feet on some futon somewhere, dust your shoulders off because you have ninety-nine problems but a relationship an’t one, and relax your mind over the fact that majority of our generation are not getting married.

To look at this phenomenon a little further, millennials are not getting married because we crave and have come to appreciate the values of having options—-as opposed to settling down to the limiting enterprises of marriages and long-term, conventional relationships.

Secondly, marriages are way too expensive to a generation that not only experienced the Great Recession but are underemployed because of it and are also the most indebted generation since 2014. Even if we wanted to entertain the idea of settling down, the majority of us, don’t have the capital and the financial solidity to even do it.

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Upset & feeling vulnerable as F*CK

 

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I am extremely disappointed and upset with my one female friend—not valuing me and communicating like a normal human-being that I’m sharing with you what I wrote to her. Partially, because I am unsure of what to do….and also because I am hoping to spark constructive discourse—-whether or not, I’m over-thinking the situation or whatever else.

This is what I wrote (I haven’t sent this to her, yet):

“I am disappointed in you….you said you were going to call but never did. After we spoke you suggested that you wanted to communicate more but since then your attempts has been lax. I’m aware that your busy; car situation, school, work….for which you need space for. I commend and respect you for all that your engaged in. Also, what’s equally important is that we’re not together, thus not bonded by any conventional etiquette(s) of coupledom….I understand that as well.

However, despite our pseudo-friendship status, some intricacies of affinity still applies, like, communication and having value for the other persons time. Forgive me if these words convey weakness or subtleties of attention-seeking—that’s not my intention. Rather, I wanted to communicate to you how your recent actions caused me great mental trepidation and disappointment. It’s times like these why I often resort to my usual desideratum…..of solitude.

Intellectually, I know and anticipate that your reason or perspective for not reaching-out will be as equally rational and important. And for that, I welcome it. However, after reading this and your content with the way things are, then that is quite alright as well.”

Sincerely,

Your King, Lewuga

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Sunday’s Reflection, Love

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red latter LOVE is a crazy thing and can consume you whole if you don’t understand it and yourself. For the record, I am not insinuating that through some peculiar series of events that I have come to understand love….because I haven’t. I am just like any one—trapped in the delusional love affair of what it means to be with someone.

Currently, I don’t have a girlfriend. But if I did, I wouldn’t even begin to know what to do around that person. I’ve enjoyed my own company for a long time that mortgaging the latter for the former enterprises of love and couple-dome, would provoke me to behave strangely around them. I mean, because of my romantic nature and pragmatic tendencies—intertwined with my occasional outburst of insecurities, coupled by the many tapestries of bottled feelings of abandonment, all of which I’ve come to accept and control while alone, would be too much for such persons to handle.

Sure, as my fingers continue to stroke the keyboards of my laptop, such popular narratives are hatching in my mind, like, ” every person is capable of love,” ” anyone can be loved,” “your soulmate is out there, somewhere.” But let’s be frank, and perhaps this is my practical mind kicking in….not everyone is deserving of affection. Think, Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin. There aren’t any incubators of love, in some throw-away laboratories that are housing and then shipping potential lovers for you. It doesn’t exist. And if it did, I would have been the first one to pay big money to travel there and see it for myself. What a wonderful and delightful place that would be….can you imagine, all the hatchlings of beautiful women of all races, stamped and ready for me to take them home. Home, where they can sit next to me, doing absolutely nothing, as I write in my journals or comb through pages of romantic novels……..I can!

From my humble experiences, love does exist, like the kind between you and your four legged animal friend…..not with two people. However, such a sentiment should not prevent you dreamers out there to spring out of your humdrum realities and search for your desideratum—-a beautiful, loving, and extroverted person. Oops, that sounded much like someone I’ve been looking for. Anyway, anyone can share my dream…..it’s a free country after all.