OVE is a crazy thing and can consume you whole if you don’t understand it and yourself. For the record, I am not insinuating that through some peculiar series of events that I have come to understand love….because I haven’t. I am just like any one—trapped in the delusional love affair of what it means to be with someone.
Currently, I don’t have a girlfriend. But if I did, I wouldn’t even begin to know what to do around that person. I’ve enjoyed my own company for a long time that mortgaging the latter for the former enterprises of love and couple-dome, would provoke me to behave strangely around them. I mean, because of my romantic nature and pragmatic tendencies—intertwined with my occasional outburst of insecurities, coupled by the many tapestries of bottled feelings of abandonment, all of which I’ve come to accept and control while alone, would be too much for such persons to handle.
Sure, as my fingers continue to stroke the keyboards of my laptop, such popular narratives are hatching in my mind, like, ” every person is capable of love,” ” anyone can be loved,” “your soulmate is out there, somewhere.” But let’s be frank, and perhaps this is my practical mind kicking in….not everyone is deserving of affection. Think, Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin. There aren’t any incubators of love, in some throw-away laboratories that are housing and then shipping potential lovers for you. It doesn’t exist. And if it did, I would have been the first one to pay big money to travel there and see it for myself. What a wonderful and delightful place that would be….can you imagine, all the hatchlings of beautiful women of all races, stamped and ready for me to take them home. Home, where they can sit next to me, doing absolutely nothing, as I write in my journals or comb through pages of romantic novels……..I can!
From my humble experiences, love does exist, like the kind between you and your four legged animal friend…..not with two people. However, such a sentiment should not prevent you dreamers out there to spring out of your humdrum realities and search for your desideratum—-a beautiful, loving, and extroverted person. Oops, that sounded much like someone I’ve been looking for. Anyway, anyone can share my dream…..it’s a free country after all.