Why do our friends wish for us to be more happier and jolly when we’re sad and overwhelmed about life? And with all their attempts to cheer us up by making us laugh or telling us stories about the times we were happy, out-going, or vibrant—and, yet none of it seems to work, why don’t they just stop and accept our sadness?
Naturally, there are vast amount of reasons why our friends may dislike our melancholy, but in the spirit of convenience and for making sure that you can get back to your social media—and not have missed the latest newsfeed or tweet, I will break down what I believe to be the reasons in three observations.
- They think that because we’re all so “connected” that there’s no way that one of us could possibly be feeling sad, isolated or lonely.
- It reminds, confronts, and forces them with the reality that we may actually be sad, lonely, or overwhelmed, despite how “connected” we are.
- Due to our constant “connectivity” and cradled-upbringings with technology, some of us fear that we lack the social skills to communicate in ways that would resolve the dispiritedness of our friends.
If you’re the person that feels sad and often question why life is overwhelming, unfair or difficult, that’s absolutely okay and one hundred percent normal. Psychoanalysis, Donald Winnicott once said that childhood and adulthood are inherently difficult, thus we must allow ourselves the opportunities to regularly mourn over the most obvious or subtle things.
However, if you’re the person that are constantly trying to cheer up the latter individuals, you must keep in mind that life needs it’s moments of acknowledged sadness and mourning. Furthermore, what those in the latter may actually want is not cheering up but rather a shared moment of sadness and mournful sympathy. And if you’re worried about not having the right words to say to someone that may be feeling sad, isolated, or overwhelmed, don’t worry, just you being there–either physically or technologically—is enough.